wehavetotalk We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women (with Janet Surrey, 1999)

“A triumph! This book has the power to change lives.” – Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.

Shem and Surrey have worked with more than 20,000 men, women, boys, and girls. We hear workshop participants using “gender dialogue”: asking questions to aid in understanding and reconnecting, such as “Name three strengths the other gender group brings to relationships,” “What do you most want to understand about the other gender group?”, and “What do you most want the other gender group to understand about you?”

Disconnections between men and women are inevitable – no one ever gets it right the first time, or all the time,” say the authors. “It’s not only what you do that matters, it’s what you do next.” This book gives insights into our differences–such as men’s “relational dread” and women’s “relational yearning,” and how to move past conflict to collaboration. The chapter “How Couples Grow” is invaluable, describing a detailed process to work through impasses and rediscover the “we” in your relationship. – Joan Price

returnto Coming in October 2008 from Kent State University Press:
makingconnections Making Connections Building Community and Gender Dialogue in Secondary Schools (with Nancy Beardall and Janet Surrey)

“MAKING CONNECTIONS is brilliant, innovative, and above all, desperatively needed today. With this practical, hands-on curriculum, derived from years of thought and practice, the authors offer a tool to avert the disruptions and distress of interpersonal disconnection.” – Edward Hallowell, M.D., founder of the Hallowell Center and author of “CONNECT:12 VITAL TIES THAT OPEN YOUR HEART, LENGTHEN YOUR LIFE, AND DEEPEN YOUR SOUL.”

“This eye-opening, life-changing curriculm is like a fail-safe course in walking on fire: but these students learn there doesn’t have to be any fire–just life itself, on common ground.”–Christina Robb, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and author of “THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING: THE RELATIONAL REVOLUTION IN PSYCHOLOGY